A (temporary) Farewell

I've been in school since the age of 2 and today, after 19 years, I will no longer be going to school anymore (except for my two finals and to hand in my paper next week but that's not important).

I will no longer get to experience the excitement of first days back to school in September, or be completely blown away by something the prof/teacher just said in lecture (yes, sometimes those do happen). I will no longer have a legitimate excuse to stay up on a computer all night in the name of 'finishing a paper' or bring home a dozen library books in my backpack (and, if necessary, whatever plastic bag I can find). I won't ever get a piece of assignment or paper back and think: wow I totally lucked out with this one or be extremely upset because I thought I did better. And so much more.

The really peculiar thing is, I know I've grown in the last 19 years (of course) but now that I'm supposed to be all prepped up and ready to face the real world, I don't feel that ready at all.

Example: I went into UBC almost 4 years ago armed with an IB diploma (I thought that meant I was a genius), feeling oh-so-confident, ready to take on anything and anyone. I thought i was going to graduate with a BComm (because that was just the most useful thing to graduate with) and basically be set for the next 40 years of my life. I honestly thought that University was probably the last hurdle of my life and once it's done and I have that piece of paper with my name printed on it, employers will come flying at me and I will miraculously end up with a job that pays well, is stressless and live like I'll never have to work hard again.

4 years later, I am graduating with a BA in International Relations (no obvious job connection there), feeling like I spent the past 4 years scratching the surface of something that is oh, so much more vast than I can possibly imagine and realizing that University isn't the last hurdle of my life at all. There are no jobs flying at me and in fact, for (arguably) the first time in my life, I have no idea what's going to happen to me in half a year's time (would've been next month if it wasn't for my vacation and LSAT).

But yes, I did gain something and just might have managed to learn something about myself too.

I've learned in the past 4 years, that I am not really that practical afterall. If I were, I would've stayed with a BComm. I've also learned that I'm seriously really interested in China. I knew I liked learning about China in high school but once here, I realized that I don't ever want to stop learning about this place or experiencing it in various ways. I'm also not as confident in my ability as I thought I was and that I do like to crowd myself with doubts. I've learned that there is nothing that can be gained or earned in this world that can guarantee a safe, happy, stressless future (no, not even a BComm my friends). I've learned that I am a person driven by my interests and not by a need to do well in everything (i.e. I do well in courses that I am really interested in but if I am in a course I detest, I cannot convince myself to put my mind into it). I've also learned that there is no way you can finish learning. More recently, I've learned that, if given a choice, I'd much rather spend my life learning and staying in school.

So long, my formal education. Till we meet again. I hope this isn't the end of our bitter-sweet relationship.