Death, Motivation

Recently, I've been thinking that a key factor of maturity (or at least, adulthood), is one's ability to handle death. My encounters with death are few and sparse - my grandfather when I was in grade 9 (by then I wasn't that close to him so I wasn't that upset but I actually felt bad because I was suppose to feel sad) and Dude (last year and I was really upset for a week). I think I still don't know what death really is or is like.

On a more positive thought, I've been extremely motivated ever since I came back from my month long vacation. So far, I've worked out 2 days out of 3 and studied 3 days out of 3. Instead of playing Sims, I've begun reading books that I've bought but never gotten around to reading. I've also cleaned my room and sent out 3 job applications.

Now if only someone would reply my job applications...

Habits

Sometimes when I open the fridge, I still half expect to hear Dude's squealing and shuffling as he scurries over to see if he's getting a piece of carrot or a leaf of bok choy. Yesterday, mom came home and the first thing she said was "阿 Dude!" before she stopped and realized that neither Dude nor his playpen was there.

I miss you a lot Dude, I hope you've got tons of blueberries and apples wherever you are right now.

身後事

Last night, Dude was buried in our backyard to lay with Chippy, Hammy, Sony, BB Bird, 龜龜1 and 龜龜2. The stump that he always slept in is placed over his burial spot and decorated with flowers and his favourite fruit, apples. It is very difficult to say goodbye to a family member of 2.5 years, especially when I couldn't be there physically to say goodbye or to bury him (thanks for doing the work Andrew). Imagining him wrapped in a pink towel and laying in a shoebox doesn't seem to fit the Dude that I know. I can't even imagine him all stiff and cold because he was always so warm and soft.
After two days, I can finally look at photos and videos that I have of Dude in my computer but I know that when I have to go back home, it would be a lot of work getting used to not seeing him in his playpen beside the kitchen and not saying "bye Dude!" and "hey Dude!" everytime I head out or come home. Or to tell the people at Gourmet that I no longer have a use for their extra veggies because no one at our house is going to eat those now.
I can tell that mom and dad are kinda upset too. Last night, mom suggested over dinner that we print out a photograph of Dude, frame it, and place it over the place where his cage usually is. For a person that rarely shows sadness, this comment from my mom told me how sad she is too. Dad said that when we go back to Vancouver, we will have a proper funeral for him and Karen can paint a tombstone over his grave.

We miss you Dude. Hope you're having a good time in Guinea Pig Heaven. I am sure they have tons of apples, watermelon, hay, bok choy and carrots there.

Goodbye, Dude

It is likened to losing a family member - the most reliable, trustworthy, quiet, vulnerable and loyal member in a family; the one that is always where he is supposed to be, always happy to see us, always waiting for us, always ready to make us smile, always easily satisfied by carrots and celeries, always scampering over to welcome us home.

You don't deserve to be in a shoebox. You don't deserve to leave us so soon.
But God has a place for everything.

Five Things

Five things to note (in order of importance):

1. Dude is sick again. He's been peeing blood again and refusing to eat and drink. Naturally we're all very concerned about him and wanting to go home to see him. The vet didn't seem especially helpful by suggesting that we run all possible tests on him and claiming that she has no clue what's going on. She's a vet for crying out loud. She should tell us the higher possibilities and narrow the action down, not tell us to run every test possible and see which one is jackpot. Just hoping now he will get better in the next 2 weeks, enough so that when we come back we can take him to his usual vet.
2. Last night, we came to find a lizard on the ceiling of our room. Pretty freaked out. Still don't know where it is right now.
3. Need to start thinking about new volunteer opportunities when I come back to Vancouver.
4. Total solar eclipse and I missed it.
5. I donated money to a cause that I have no clue about today. That's the thing about charities in Hong Kong. They ask you to donate money on the streets without actually telling you what their organization is/what they do. They usually just follow you, saying something really generic like "help the elderly!" and trade your twenty dollar bill for a sticker. I think social services organizations are just as much about education as they are about the money. But that's just my opinion.

my trip to the aquarium

Yesterday, 鄭少 and I went to the Vancouver Aquarium and saw some real cool sea creatures. I was particularly amazed at how the sea turtle (as seen above) can coexist with at least five sharks, a few sting rays AND a few smaller fishies in the same tank (I was amazed by that last time I went too). How come they don't eat each other or chase each other around? The fish in my dad's fish tank at home ALWAYS chase each other and bite at each other's fins. Amongst the thousands of various fish, mammals, reptiles, etc that we saw, i think the sea otter (who was constantly cleaning/rubbing/scrubbing/flipping himself in the most hilarious manner) shares a striking resemblance with Dude.

According to the information sign thing at the aquarium, sea otters spend hours daily to clean their fur because only clean fur can trap air bubbles which in turn, keeps them warm from the cold sea water (the water they live in at the aquarium aren't heated - just like how it would be in the wild). One thing Dude really needs to learn from the Sea Otter is hygiene.