Couple years ago, I did one of those online Enneagram tests (the ones that tell you what kind of person you are out of 9 pre-determined personality types). I am pretty certain that I was a hardcore Type 8 ("The Leader: The powerful, aggressive type.").
I did test again just now and somehow, I have changed into someone else: split-even between Type 1 (The Reformer: The rational, idealistic) and Type 7 (The Generalist: The enthusiastic, productive type.)
Either way, I still scored the lowest in Type 2 (The Helper: The caring, nurturing type.) and Type 9 (The Peacemaker: The easygoing, accommodating type).
Eh. guess I'm still the same.
Showing posts with label When i was small-er. Show all posts
Showing posts with label When i was small-er. Show all posts
Friday, September 24, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
IB Entrance Essay
When I wrote my IB entrance test in grade 8, they made us write an essay on a given quote. I've always remembered the general gist of the quote but today, as I was searching up quotes on ambition which eventually led to a search on Mark Twain quotes, I came across it again:
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. - Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. - Mark Twain
Friday, September 3, 2010
Exchange II
Last night I had a dream where I went to Germany (of all places) on exchange! Sometimes I think that I'm not as brave as before where I'd be willing to leave my home and go to a foreign country for 6 months like I did last time. I don't know what's gone into me...perhaps I'm getting old?
I remember when I was a kid and there was this one 包青天 episode where they were able to solve the case because they were able to "revive" the witness' memory through his sense of smell. Apparently, one's sense of smell is the one sense that can most effectively link back to old memories. Today while I was going through the cornmaze, I smelled, for a few seconds, a particular smell that immediately linked me back to my old kindergarten in Hong Kong - particularly the school's "mini farm" (where they had rabbits and chickens and stuff like that in cages). Strange eh?
I remember when I was a kid and there was this one 包青天 episode where they were able to solve the case because they were able to "revive" the witness' memory through his sense of smell. Apparently, one's sense of smell is the one sense that can most effectively link back to old memories. Today while I was going through the cornmaze, I smelled, for a few seconds, a particular smell that immediately linked me back to my old kindergarten in Hong Kong - particularly the school's "mini farm" (where they had rabbits and chickens and stuff like that in cages). Strange eh?
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Death, Motivation
Recently, I've been thinking that a key factor of maturity (or at least, adulthood), is one's ability to handle death. My encounters with death are few and sparse - my grandfather when I was in grade 9 (by then I wasn't that close to him so I wasn't that upset but I actually felt bad because I was suppose to feel sad) and Dude (last year and I was really upset for a week). I think I still don't know what death really is or is like.
On a more positive thought, I've been extremely motivated ever since I came back from my month long vacation. So far, I've worked out 2 days out of 3 and studied 3 days out of 3. Instead of playing Sims, I've begun reading books that I've bought but never gotten around to reading. I've also cleaned my room and sent out 3 job applications.
Now if only someone would reply my job applications...
On a more positive thought, I've been extremely motivated ever since I came back from my month long vacation. So far, I've worked out 2 days out of 3 and studied 3 days out of 3. Instead of playing Sims, I've begun reading books that I've bought but never gotten around to reading. I've also cleaned my room and sent out 3 job applications.
Now if only someone would reply my job applications...
Sunday, May 16, 2010
PMPG 15th Anniversary
For most people, there are identities that we don't realize until it suddenly hits you.
Today, I realized that I've basically grown up with PMPGMBC. I've been with this church since it first started in 1995 (although I honestly can't remember). I've "experienced" leadership of all the previous lead pastors (although I actually didn't know them personally nor was I on talking terms with them since I was basically a kid until the latter half of Rev. Cheung's time here). I recognize the faces of all the people that have once served in this church. I remember certain events that a lot of people in our church today probably don't know about. I remember being in Pioneer Clubs and Una 姐姐. I remember when Cindy Luu was a Sunday School Teacher, and not yet a missionary. I remember when children's worship (from grade 1-6) was in room in the church basement. I remember the 7th Anniversary celebration at Radisson (now a casino hotel) and how it was the first time we met Rollie. I remember when the room with two doors in the church basement were two separate rooms. I remember that the sanctuary used to have a huge massive wooden cross in the middle of the front wall and how I thought that was so cool.
So today, as the church celebrated its 15th anniversary (and I can finally relax after all the planning and organizing), I finally realized that I am a PG, just as much as I am a Chinese, or a Wong, or a girl, or a UBC graduate, or a black belt. And PG, for the past 15 years of my life, has been my family. And all 500+ people who come to church on Sunday with me, are my family members, not in the sense where the words "brothers and sisters" just seems like a friendlier way to address "fellow Christians", but in the sense that they are my family because I, for the past 15 years, have grown up with them.
Today, I realized that I've basically grown up with PMPGMBC. I've been with this church since it first started in 1995 (although I honestly can't remember). I've "experienced" leadership of all the previous lead pastors (although I actually didn't know them personally nor was I on talking terms with them since I was basically a kid until the latter half of Rev. Cheung's time here). I recognize the faces of all the people that have once served in this church. I remember certain events that a lot of people in our church today probably don't know about. I remember being in Pioneer Clubs and Una 姐姐. I remember when Cindy Luu was a Sunday School Teacher, and not yet a missionary. I remember when children's worship (from grade 1-6) was in room in the church basement. I remember the 7th Anniversary celebration at Radisson (now a casino hotel) and how it was the first time we met Rollie. I remember when the room with two doors in the church basement were two separate rooms. I remember that the sanctuary used to have a huge massive wooden cross in the middle of the front wall and how I thought that was so cool.
So today, as the church celebrated its 15th anniversary (and I can finally relax after all the planning and organizing), I finally realized that I am a PG, just as much as I am a Chinese, or a Wong, or a girl, or a UBC graduate, or a black belt. And PG, for the past 15 years of my life, has been my family. And all 500+ people who come to church on Sunday with me, are my family members, not in the sense where the words "brothers and sisters" just seems like a friendlier way to address "fellow Christians", but in the sense that they are my family because I, for the past 15 years, have grown up with them.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
public speaking
today i was helping my new grade 5 tutor student prepare her public speaking speech for next Monday when I was suddenly reminded of how I had to write speeches too when I was in elementary school.
I remembered that in grade four, my topic was "overpopulation" (how overpopulation is bad for the Earth and why that is so). In grade five, my topic was "the goods and bads of public speaking". I remembered that my speech won first place in my class and hence I was able to go to the school-wide public speaking competition and compete in front of the whole school with other classes. For some reason, there were two winners - myself and this other kid called Nathan MacDonald. The winner of the school competition was supposed to go to the district-wide competition but unfortunately, only one winner was allowed to go. The principal decided to toss a coin and Nathan ended up being able to go. I remember feeling really disappointed but I tried to be really tough and not cry. I didn't cry until I saw my dad after school. Now that I think about it, I shouldn't have allowed the principal to make a decision like that by tossing a coin. Additionally, Nathan was also the school-wide champion in grade 4 hence he went to the districts before whereas I've never been to them.
In the end, I was allowed to go watch the districts. Nathan lost. And maybe because his mom felt sorry for me, he gave me a pot of flowers at the end of the school year.
In grade 8, I wrote another speech on "Snoring". I managed to win in class but didn't win against other classes in my school.
Most people find public speaking scary, but I think I thrive on it.
I remembered that in grade four, my topic was "overpopulation" (how overpopulation is bad for the Earth and why that is so). In grade five, my topic was "the goods and bads of public speaking". I remembered that my speech won first place in my class and hence I was able to go to the school-wide public speaking competition and compete in front of the whole school with other classes. For some reason, there were two winners - myself and this other kid called Nathan MacDonald. The winner of the school competition was supposed to go to the district-wide competition but unfortunately, only one winner was allowed to go. The principal decided to toss a coin and Nathan ended up being able to go. I remember feeling really disappointed but I tried to be really tough and not cry. I didn't cry until I saw my dad after school. Now that I think about it, I shouldn't have allowed the principal to make a decision like that by tossing a coin. Additionally, Nathan was also the school-wide champion in grade 4 hence he went to the districts before whereas I've never been to them.
In the end, I was allowed to go watch the districts. Nathan lost. And maybe because his mom felt sorry for me, he gave me a pot of flowers at the end of the school year.
In grade 8, I wrote another speech on "Snoring". I managed to win in class but didn't win against other classes in my school.
Most people find public speaking scary, but I think I thrive on it.
Friday, April 16, 2010
A (temporary) Farewell
I've been in school since the age of 2 and today, after 19 years, I will no longer be going to school anymore (except for my two finals and to hand in my paper next week but that's not important).
I will no longer get to experience the excitement of first days back to school in September, or be completely blown away by something the prof/teacher just said in lecture (yes, sometimes those do happen). I will no longer have a legitimate excuse to stay up on a computer all night in the name of 'finishing a paper' or bring home a dozen library books in my backpack (and, if necessary, whatever plastic bag I can find). I won't ever get a piece of assignment or paper back and think: wow I totally lucked out with this one or be extremely upset because I thought I did better. And so much more.
The really peculiar thing is, I know I've grown in the last 19 years (of course) but now that I'm supposed to be all prepped up and ready to face the real world, I don't feel that ready at all.
Example: I went into UBC almost 4 years ago armed with an IB diploma (I thought that meant I was a genius), feeling oh-so-confident, ready to take on anything and anyone. I thought i was going to graduate with a BComm (because that was just the most useful thing to graduate with) and basically be set for the next 40 years of my life. I honestly thought that University was probably the last hurdle of my life and once it's done and I have that piece of paper with my name printed on it, employers will come flying at me and I will miraculously end up with a job that pays well, is stressless and live like I'll never have to work hard again.
4 years later, I am graduating with a BA in International Relations (no obvious job connection there), feeling like I spent the past 4 years scratching the surface of something that is oh, so much more vast than I can possibly imagine and realizing that University isn't the last hurdle of my life at all. There are no jobs flying at me and in fact, for (arguably) the first time in my life, I have no idea what's going to happen to me in half a year's time (would've been next month if it wasn't for my vacation and LSAT).
But yes, I did gain something and just might have managed to learn something about myself too.
I've learned in the past 4 years, that I am not really that practical afterall. If I were, I would've stayed with a BComm. I've also learned that I'm seriously really interested in China. I knew I liked learning about China in high school but once here, I realized that I don't ever want to stop learning about this place or experiencing it in various ways. I'm also not as confident in my ability as I thought I was and that I do like to crowd myself with doubts. I've learned that there is nothing that can be gained or earned in this world that can guarantee a safe, happy, stressless future (no, not even a BComm my friends). I've learned that I am a person driven by my interests and not by a need to do well in everything (i.e. I do well in courses that I am really interested in but if I am in a course I detest, I cannot convince myself to put my mind into it). I've also learned that there is no way you can finish learning. More recently, I've learned that, if given a choice, I'd much rather spend my life learning and staying in school.
So long, my formal education. Till we meet again. I hope this isn't the end of our bitter-sweet relationship.
I will no longer get to experience the excitement of first days back to school in September, or be completely blown away by something the prof/teacher just said in lecture (yes, sometimes those do happen). I will no longer have a legitimate excuse to stay up on a computer all night in the name of 'finishing a paper' or bring home a dozen library books in my backpack (and, if necessary, whatever plastic bag I can find). I won't ever get a piece of assignment or paper back and think: wow I totally lucked out with this one or be extremely upset because I thought I did better. And so much more.
The really peculiar thing is, I know I've grown in the last 19 years (of course) but now that I'm supposed to be all prepped up and ready to face the real world, I don't feel that ready at all.
Example: I went into UBC almost 4 years ago armed with an IB diploma (I thought that meant I was a genius), feeling oh-so-confident, ready to take on anything and anyone. I thought i was going to graduate with a BComm (because that was just the most useful thing to graduate with) and basically be set for the next 40 years of my life. I honestly thought that University was probably the last hurdle of my life and once it's done and I have that piece of paper with my name printed on it, employers will come flying at me and I will miraculously end up with a job that pays well, is stressless and live like I'll never have to work hard again.
4 years later, I am graduating with a BA in International Relations (no obvious job connection there), feeling like I spent the past 4 years scratching the surface of something that is oh, so much more vast than I can possibly imagine and realizing that University isn't the last hurdle of my life at all. There are no jobs flying at me and in fact, for (arguably) the first time in my life, I have no idea what's going to happen to me in half a year's time (would've been next month if it wasn't for my vacation and LSAT).
But yes, I did gain something and just might have managed to learn something about myself too.
I've learned in the past 4 years, that I am not really that practical afterall. If I were, I would've stayed with a BComm. I've also learned that I'm seriously really interested in China. I knew I liked learning about China in high school but once here, I realized that I don't ever want to stop learning about this place or experiencing it in various ways. I'm also not as confident in my ability as I thought I was and that I do like to crowd myself with doubts. I've learned that there is nothing that can be gained or earned in this world that can guarantee a safe, happy, stressless future (no, not even a BComm my friends). I've learned that I am a person driven by my interests and not by a need to do well in everything (i.e. I do well in courses that I am really interested in but if I am in a course I detest, I cannot convince myself to put my mind into it). I've also learned that there is no way you can finish learning. More recently, I've learned that, if given a choice, I'd much rather spend my life learning and staying in school.
So long, my formal education. Till we meet again. I hope this isn't the end of our bitter-sweet relationship.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
命裏有時終須有, 命裏無時莫強求
My parents always used to listen to this song when I was younger and I've always loved it for its melody. Now that I understand the lyrics, it's even more meaningful.
And yes, I do feel old when I listen to this song haha.
And yes, I do feel old when I listen to this song haha.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
21嵗
i used to get really excited about my birthday: dinners, gifts, 利是, friends, cakes. But to be honest, in recent years (perhaps the past 2 or 3 years?) i would get really upset about my birthday. Of course, I still enjoy the presents and the company, it's just that when i really sit down and think about it, I am not all too excited.
Birthdays sometime seem to serve as a reminder to me of the fact that I'm 'aging': that time is slowly slipping away and that I haven't done a lot of things that I think are worthwhile, that I have wasted a lot of time committed to things that don't really mean a lot in the long run, and that I am not where I want to be. Maybe I am paranoid, but time is so important to me. After all, this is suppose to be the prime, the time where everything happens and new experiences are everywhere and yet, in the past few birthdays, i have always felt that i've missed out on some things that are meant to be mine by now and all the while doing a whole bunch of things on the side that probably won't mean much ten years down the road. I've felt mediocre at best and I hated that word.
But this year, I feel differently. Maybe because in the past year (while I was 20 years old), I have finally done some things that I'm really pleased with and proud of myself for accomplishing: going to China, living independently for 6 months, traveling solo, meeting new people that are from different cultures, working a 9-5 job at a law firm (albeit only an internship but still, i finally got to fulfill my childhood fantasy of working at 中環), really finding out who I am. Of course, I am not completely satisfied yet (I have yet to join a full-scale musical production) but I know I am getting there somehow.
And this birthday, this 21st year of my life, I am challenging myself to make this year even better than my 20th. I know that as May rolls around and I graduate, nothing will look like what it had looked for the past four years or even for the past 17 years that I've been in school. Next year, as I sit here and write my blog to celebrate my 22nd birthday, I would not be anticipating my final grades like I am now. Maybe I will be working a 9-5 job. Maybe I will be filling out grad school applications. Maybe I will not be in Vancouver. Maybe I will be unemployed. Who knows. But if anything, this 20th year of my life has taught me that I should not be afraid of the unexpected, that i should be ready to make life more exciting.
Next year has to be as rewarding as this. Cheers to being 21.
Birthdays sometime seem to serve as a reminder to me of the fact that I'm 'aging': that time is slowly slipping away and that I haven't done a lot of things that I think are worthwhile, that I have wasted a lot of time committed to things that don't really mean a lot in the long run, and that I am not where I want to be. Maybe I am paranoid, but time is so important to me. After all, this is suppose to be the prime, the time where everything happens and new experiences are everywhere and yet, in the past few birthdays, i have always felt that i've missed out on some things that are meant to be mine by now and all the while doing a whole bunch of things on the side that probably won't mean much ten years down the road. I've felt mediocre at best and I hated that word.
But this year, I feel differently. Maybe because in the past year (while I was 20 years old), I have finally done some things that I'm really pleased with and proud of myself for accomplishing: going to China, living independently for 6 months, traveling solo, meeting new people that are from different cultures, working a 9-5 job at a law firm (albeit only an internship but still, i finally got to fulfill my childhood fantasy of working at 中環), really finding out who I am. Of course, I am not completely satisfied yet (I have yet to join a full-scale musical production) but I know I am getting there somehow.
And this birthday, this 21st year of my life, I am challenging myself to make this year even better than my 20th. I know that as May rolls around and I graduate, nothing will look like what it had looked for the past four years or even for the past 17 years that I've been in school. Next year, as I sit here and write my blog to celebrate my 22nd birthday, I would not be anticipating my final grades like I am now. Maybe I will be working a 9-5 job. Maybe I will be filling out grad school applications. Maybe I will not be in Vancouver. Maybe I will be unemployed. Who knows. But if anything, this 20th year of my life has taught me that I should not be afraid of the unexpected, that i should be ready to make life more exciting.
Next year has to be as rewarding as this. Cheers to being 21.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Growing Up
When I was a little kid, I've always wanted to grow up asap and my mom would tell me that the day that i feel like i don't want to grow up anymore, then i've grown up.
I'm grown up now.
I'm grown up now.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Windy Day
UBC was so windy today that it reminded me of a Disney Winnie-the-Pooh video that I really liked to watch when I was a kid. I think it was called "Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day". Something like that...
Yup, I just googled it. My memory is better than I thought but only for 無聊 things like this. The more important that I really should remember, like how terrorist groups fund their activities, or when the presidency of FDR was, or if UNFIL is in Lebanon or in Liberia, or the difference TVEs and SOEs...I just can't seem to stuff into my mind.
Yup, I just googled it. My memory is better than I thought but only for 無聊 things like this. The more important that I really should remember, like how terrorist groups fund their activities, or when the presidency of FDR was, or if UNFIL is in Lebanon or in Liberia, or the difference TVEs and SOEs...I just can't seem to stuff into my mind.
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