The audition, in my opinion, did not go too well (the orange remedy last night didn't totally recover my voice). My voice was totally not in condition at all and, honestly, even if it were, I was no where near the caliber that he was expecting. And maybe it was my nerves, I couldn't even sing a perfect-fifth during sight reading...even after 3 tries!
Anyways, it was a good experience (a good glimpse at what other people out there do) and how i am still a frog in a well.
On a more positive note, 米奇老鼠 bought me EASON'S DUO concert CD/DVD from HK: audio goodness is drifting around my room right now.
Showing posts with label singing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label singing. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Cooked Whole Orange
My voice is not getting any better and i need it back at least 80% before I can go for my audition tomorrow night, so I have decided to try out my 契媽's remedy: cooked whole orange.
1. Boil an entire orange (peel and all) for 10 minutes.
2. Pour the water out, cut the orange in half.
3. Bake in 350F for 15 minutes
4. Eat all of it.
Sounds fun eh? It's baking right now. I'll see how it goes...
update: 苦到阿媽都唔認得
1. Boil an entire orange (peel and all) for 10 minutes.
2. Pour the water out, cut the orange in half.
3. Bake in 350F for 15 minutes
4. Eat all of it.
Sounds fun eh? It's baking right now. I'll see how it goes...
update: 苦到阿媽都唔認得
Sunday, August 22, 2010
原來我好弱
Somewhere between "a long time ago" and "now", I have become a little weakling in my own right. I used to never get sick (or at most, twice a year) but in the recent years I've been getting sick more and more often and it's cutting into my ability to function properly (at least a handful of times each year).
The last time I was sick was June of this year (right before my vacation and i was so worried that they wouldn't let me on the plane!). I am already sick again...in just two months! What happened to the stuff they teach you in Biology 12 that you become immune to certain germs once you've had them? Did that germ evolve so fast that I am vulnerable to it again in just two months?! What the hell is going on?! Is the information in Biology 12 textbooks from just 5 years ago no longer valid?!
So now, I still have to work tomorrow because no one else can work for me and I'll still having to audition on Tuesday even though I probably can't sing higher than a C (and by that, I meant middle C).
This is BS! I have all the signs of a healthy lifestyle: I don't even drink pop or eat fast food often, I get enough servings of veggies regularly enough, i try to have a piece of fruit each day, I am not obese or underweight, I don't go on random diets or eating binges (not so certain about the latter actually), I walked for a few hours twice each week (aka my gourmet shifts), I don't sleep with my make up on, I don't drink excessively or smoke or take drugs or engage in self-destructing behaviour. SO WHAT'S GOING ON!?
The last time I was sick was June of this year (right before my vacation and i was so worried that they wouldn't let me on the plane!). I am already sick again...in just two months! What happened to the stuff they teach you in Biology 12 that you become immune to certain germs once you've had them? Did that germ evolve so fast that I am vulnerable to it again in just two months?! What the hell is going on?! Is the information in Biology 12 textbooks from just 5 years ago no longer valid?!
So now, I still have to work tomorrow because no one else can work for me and I'll still having to audition on Tuesday even though I probably can't sing higher than a C (and by that, I meant middle C).
This is BS! I have all the signs of a healthy lifestyle: I don't even drink pop or eat fast food often, I get enough servings of veggies regularly enough, i try to have a piece of fruit each day, I am not obese or underweight, I don't go on random diets or eating binges (not so certain about the latter actually), I walked for a few hours twice each week (aka my gourmet shifts), I don't sleep with my make up on, I don't drink excessively or smoke or take drugs or engage in self-destructing behaviour. SO WHAT'S GOING ON!?
Monday, May 10, 2010
And can it be that I should gain
To be very honest (and hopefully not offend anyone out there), it is very difficult to for me to find Christian songs/hymns that I like. It seems like all the ones in Hymns of Life sound the same, all the ones from Streams of Praise sounds the same and all the "contemporary" Cantonese ones sounds the same too. To be fair, I don't listen to "christian" music outside of church either (Chris Tomlin fan? no not really.) I am also kinda picky with "Christian hymns" too because I don't like songs that are "unsingable" and lyrics that are cliches so it's rather annoying.
But occasionally, I do find hymns that I really like: where the melody is comfortable and the lyrics are genuine and true. This song is one of them.
But occasionally, I do find hymns that I really like: where the melody is comfortable and the lyrics are genuine and true. This song is one of them.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
what's going on?
For the past few days, I feel as if I'm being hounded/annoyed by something but I'm not sure what it might be. It seems like I've either forgotten to do something that is quite urgent/important or that there is a approaching deadline that I've yet to deal with. I can think of a feel reasons why I might be feeling anxious...
- I was supposed to have a paper due Thursday but the prof already postponed that...
- I have a paper proposal due also on Thursday but I've finished that already
- I have a performance on Friday night but I'm quite ready I think. And usually these things don't start to stress me out until around an hour before I actually have to get on stage
- I have to lead worship this week. And there's a new worship team member. Actually this one might be one of the reasons.
- I've yet to catch up last week and this week's course readings. This one is probably it too.
- I haven't translated an article that I was supposed to have translated by last Friday. Yup this one too.
- I haven't been to one of my course lectures for far too long (although it is rather useless). This one's definitely one.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Time to Love
For the very first time in my life, I heard my voice singing on the radio (I missed it last week haha). I must say, it was rather nerve racking. I wonder what people think or say when they hear it (maybe they don't notice haha). I just think I sound very different and 比真人溫柔得多 haha.
Thank you Deakin for giving me this chance of singing a great song and making me feel like a 歌手 by playing the song on the radio and calling me a "本地歌手". I don't know if I'll ever have a chance like this in the future.
and thank you 鄭少 for waiting two hours by the radio with me haha.
Thank you Deakin for giving me this chance of singing a great song and making me feel like a 歌手 by playing the song on the radio and calling me a "本地歌手". I don't know if I'll ever have a chance like this in the future.
and thank you 鄭少 for waiting two hours by the radio with me haha.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Laziness, beef, pork and "voice-capability crises"...
i don't know what's wrong with me.
Lots of times in my everyday life, things would happen to me or I would see something or a thought would come up in my mind and I'll go "hey! I should record that down in my blog tonight" but when I go home I just forget about it or (worse yet) remember it but just be too lazy to type it out here. The result is that 1. I forget most of what happens to me and 2. This blog is stranded for weeks at times.
Anyways...
I've managed to gone one full week (minus Sunday) without pork or beef to celebrate Lent. Frankly, I am quite proud of myself because it is a very difficult feat for a foodie like me (esp. tonight when my mom made my all time favourite 鹹蛋豬肉) but I've managed thus far. I do get really hungry at night since some meals I just eat vegetables and rice but other than that, I've been okay. Just a bit more over a month to go...
Another thing that's been bugging me for the past week is my singing. As a general rule, I try to avoid listening any recordings of my own singing (unless I'm part of a choir in which case I won't be able to hear my own voice) because, honestly, I hate my singing and if i can avoid listening to it I won't suffer from an voice-capability crisis like I am right now. Really I am not even exaggerating or being cocky. On Sunday as I sat there and listened to my own voice I can barely kept a straight face because it was like torture. I simply cannot stand it and I felt sorry for everyone else in the room who has to endure 3 minutes of this (for lack of a better word) crap. And I am quite convinced that it was not the song (actually the song itself was great) because this is not the first time I've heard my sing and thought to myself "Wow 3 years of training and so much money for this bs?" (not that my teachers were, in any way, bs because they are awesome singers)
Which begs the question, are you actually good at something if you yourself don't think that you are?
Lots of times in my everyday life, things would happen to me or I would see something or a thought would come up in my mind and I'll go "hey! I should record that down in my blog tonight" but when I go home I just forget about it or (worse yet) remember it but just be too lazy to type it out here. The result is that 1. I forget most of what happens to me and 2. This blog is stranded for weeks at times.
Anyways...
I've managed to gone one full week (minus Sunday) without pork or beef to celebrate Lent. Frankly, I am quite proud of myself because it is a very difficult feat for a foodie like me (esp. tonight when my mom made my all time favourite 鹹蛋豬肉) but I've managed thus far. I do get really hungry at night since some meals I just eat vegetables and rice but other than that, I've been okay. Just a bit more over a month to go...
Another thing that's been bugging me for the past week is my singing. As a general rule, I try to avoid listening any recordings of my own singing (unless I'm part of a choir in which case I won't be able to hear my own voice) because, honestly, I hate my singing and if i can avoid listening to it I won't suffer from an voice-capability crisis like I am right now. Really I am not even exaggerating or being cocky. On Sunday as I sat there and listened to my own voice I can barely kept a straight face because it was like torture. I simply cannot stand it and I felt sorry for everyone else in the room who has to endure 3 minutes of this (for lack of a better word) crap. And I am quite convinced that it was not the song (actually the song itself was great) because this is not the first time I've heard my sing and thought to myself "Wow 3 years of training and so much money for this bs?" (not that my teachers were, in any way, bs because they are awesome singers)
Which begs the question, are you actually good at something if you yourself don't think that you are?
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Thank you, Jesus
Thank you Jesus, because You've reminded that it is through trials that I can see more of You.
Thank you Jesus, because through what is going on, You've allowed me to grow stronger in You.
Thank you Jesus, because You have told me that I am blessed when I am at the end of my rope: with less of me there is more of You and Your rule
Thank you Jesus, because You have given me enough wisdom to be able to tell what I should and should not do.
Thank you Jesus, because You haven't given me too much wisdom so that I only rely on myself and not on You.
Thank you Jesus, because You have prepared me to handle this.
Thank you Jesus, because You have surrounded me with people that support and help me handle this.
Thank you Jesus, because You have reminded me also to not place my trust in people, or leaders, or institutions but in You and only You.
Thank you Jesus, because I know that through this we can be more unified.
Thank you Jesus, because You won't let us fight this battle alone.
Thank you Jesus, because You have given me hope.
Thank you Jesus, because You remind me that, in the end, this is all about You.
Thank you Jesus, because no matter how heartbreaking this gets, You will never forsake me.
Thank you Jesus, because no matter how disappointing this gets, You never disappoint.
Thank you Jesus, because no matter how hopeless this looks, Your ways are still far greater than ours.
Thank you Jesus, because no matter how much harder this gets, Your grace is still sufficient.
Thank you Jesus, because on the cross I saw love and sorrow mingled down.
Thank you Jesus, because through that hymn today, I realized that in the midst of sorrow, there can still be love.
Thank you Jesus, because through what has happened, I have developed a greater thirst for You.
Thank you Jesus, because through this, You have forced me to seriously contemplate why I choose to serve.
Thank you Jesus, because You have taught me that serving is not always easy.
Thank you Jesus, because I see people around me that are going through the same sorrow and yet they still love.
Thank you Jesus, because You've reassured me that You will be in charge of tomorrow.
Thank you Jesus, because You're in charge of today, right now.
Thank you Jesus, because this is a valuable lesson that I must learn.
Thank you Jesus, because You've forgiven my sins.
Thank you Jesus, because You understand how I feel.
Thank you Jesus, because You care.
Thank you Jesus, because it is You who give me the strength to still wake up every Sunday morning at 7am.
Thank you Jesus, because You haven't allowed me to be numbed by all the words and emails of the past two months.
Thank you Jesus, because I see more clearly than ever because of this.
Thank you Jesus, because You look into our hearts, not our actions.
Thank you Jesus, because in my deepest sorrow, You still comfort.
Thank you Jesus, because You've called Your own servants to lead and mediate during this difficult time.
Thank you Jesus, because You have reassured me that You're still working through PMPGMBC.
Thank you Jesus, because in Your word, I know that if we are willing to turn back to You, You will listen and take us back.
Thank you Jesus, because all this is not for nothing.
Thank you Jesus, because through what is going on, You've allowed me to grow stronger in You.
Thank you Jesus, because You have told me that I am blessed when I am at the end of my rope: with less of me there is more of You and Your rule
Thank you Jesus, because You have given me enough wisdom to be able to tell what I should and should not do.
Thank you Jesus, because You haven't given me too much wisdom so that I only rely on myself and not on You.
Thank you Jesus, because You have prepared me to handle this.
Thank you Jesus, because You have surrounded me with people that support and help me handle this.
Thank you Jesus, because You have reminded me also to not place my trust in people, or leaders, or institutions but in You and only You.
Thank you Jesus, because I know that through this we can be more unified.
Thank you Jesus, because You won't let us fight this battle alone.
Thank you Jesus, because You have given me hope.
Thank you Jesus, because You remind me that, in the end, this is all about You.
Thank you Jesus, because no matter how heartbreaking this gets, You will never forsake me.
Thank you Jesus, because no matter how disappointing this gets, You never disappoint.
Thank you Jesus, because no matter how hopeless this looks, Your ways are still far greater than ours.
Thank you Jesus, because no matter how much harder this gets, Your grace is still sufficient.
Thank you Jesus, because on the cross I saw love and sorrow mingled down.
Thank you Jesus, because through that hymn today, I realized that in the midst of sorrow, there can still be love.
Thank you Jesus, because through what has happened, I have developed a greater thirst for You.
Thank you Jesus, because through this, You have forced me to seriously contemplate why I choose to serve.
Thank you Jesus, because You have taught me that serving is not always easy.
Thank you Jesus, because I see people around me that are going through the same sorrow and yet they still love.
Thank you Jesus, because You've reassured me that You will be in charge of tomorrow.
Thank you Jesus, because You're in charge of today, right now.
Thank you Jesus, because this is a valuable lesson that I must learn.
Thank you Jesus, because You've forgiven my sins.
Thank you Jesus, because You understand how I feel.
Thank you Jesus, because You care.
Thank you Jesus, because it is You who give me the strength to still wake up every Sunday morning at 7am.
Thank you Jesus, because You haven't allowed me to be numbed by all the words and emails of the past two months.
Thank you Jesus, because I see more clearly than ever because of this.
Thank you Jesus, because You look into our hearts, not our actions.
Thank you Jesus, because in my deepest sorrow, You still comfort.
Thank you Jesus, because You've called Your own servants to lead and mediate during this difficult time.
Thank you Jesus, because You have reassured me that You're still working through PMPGMBC.
Thank you Jesus, because in Your word, I know that if we are willing to turn back to You, You will listen and take us back.
Thank you Jesus, because all this is not for nothing.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
The Real Tidbits of Life
I really should be more diligent about blogging. How can I ever remember all the things that happen in daily life if I fail to write them down? Perhaps this blog isn't meant to remember all the big things that happen (since if they're that big, I can probably remember them with my own brain) but the smaller tidbits that are important to me today but might as well go un-noticed or become insignificant in the future.
So here it goes.
Yesterday, the doctor told me that the "lump" in my left ovary was but a figment of the ultrasound's imagination and the MRI has proven that I am as normal as normal can be (at least my ovaries are). Phew. Thank God for giving me my health and reminding me that I should never take it for granted. But the doc did say that I should be careful about my spine as it appears to be slightly worse than an average 20-year old spine should be. Okay, time to exercise more.
The status of my diet (day 5?). Ultimate fail. I actually ordered deep fried wontons as "dinner" today after I did a 2 hour stint at Gourmet (Ben took a day off to go see Jay-Z and Elaine was worried that it might be busy, hence I dropped by). How am I going to get the perfect body by my grad pic in less than two weeks?
This Sunday, I have to 領詩. I think I've done it so many times that I no longer am that nervous as I was before. I really should still stay on my toes though. It's too big of a responsibility to 求其.
So here it goes.
Yesterday, the doctor told me that the "lump" in my left ovary was but a figment of the ultrasound's imagination and the MRI has proven that I am as normal as normal can be (at least my ovaries are). Phew. Thank God for giving me my health and reminding me that I should never take it for granted. But the doc did say that I should be careful about my spine as it appears to be slightly worse than an average 20-year old spine should be. Okay, time to exercise more.
The status of my diet (day 5?). Ultimate fail. I actually ordered deep fried wontons as "dinner" today after I did a 2 hour stint at Gourmet (Ben took a day off to go see Jay-Z and Elaine was worried that it might be busy, hence I dropped by). How am I going to get the perfect body by my grad pic in less than two weeks?
This Sunday, I have to 領詩. I think I've done it so many times that I no longer am that nervous as I was before. I really should still stay on my toes though. It's too big of a responsibility to 求其.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
嫉妒
I really should do a better job of blogging more frequently. It's not that I don't enjoy writing here it's just that upon returning to Vancouver i find that I have a lot more things to do but none of them significant enough to warrant a few sentences here.
Chicago, or the little that I did manage to see of Chicago because we were always in the church we were serving at in Chinatown, seems like a place that I would like to go back again to explore and get to know. Museums, art galleries, aquariums, Lake Michigan, American-Italian food...hmmm! Hopefully somewhere in the future I can go back to Chicago and really see what this Windy City is like.
As the beginning of my last year at UBC slowly comes upon me, I continue to frantically stuff commitments and events into my already filled schedule - jobs, volunteering, church committees, GM events, goals.... I do enjoy doing this things, but already more than once I have been warned to "watch my time" (and it's not only my parents saying this). I have a sneaky feeling that this is my fear of losing time, opportunities and never finding my "true calling" creeping up on me again. Especially this coming year being the last of my university years and life as I've known it for the past 3 years and, really loosely speaking, ever since I was five, everything beyond April 2010 is as hazy as a bowl of miso soup (what a dumb analogy but its the best I can think up of right now).
On another note, as I twist and bend my schedule in an attempt to try new things out and find my true calling, some of the most important people in my live are heading out to other places in the world for long periods of time in search of their own new experiences and callings. Good luck and, when you've found your goal(s) in life, enlighten me too, please.
A bit of Chicago...
Chicago, or the little that I did manage to see of Chicago because we were always in the church we were serving at in Chinatown, seems like a place that I would like to go back again to explore and get to know. Museums, art galleries, aquariums, Lake Michigan, American-Italian food...hmmm! Hopefully somewhere in the future I can go back to Chicago and really see what this Windy City is like.
As the beginning of my last year at UBC slowly comes upon me, I continue to frantically stuff commitments and events into my already filled schedule - jobs, volunteering, church committees, GM events, goals.... I do enjoy doing this things, but already more than once I have been warned to "watch my time" (and it's not only my parents saying this). I have a sneaky feeling that this is my fear of losing time, opportunities and never finding my "true calling" creeping up on me again. Especially this coming year being the last of my university years and life as I've known it for the past 3 years and, really loosely speaking, ever since I was five, everything beyond April 2010 is as hazy as a bowl of miso soup (what a dumb analogy but its the best I can think up of right now).
On another note, as I twist and bend my schedule in an attempt to try new things out and find my true calling, some of the most important people in my live are heading out to other places in the world for long periods of time in search of their own new experiences and callings. Good luck and, when you've found your goal(s) in life, enlighten me too, please.
A bit of Chicago...
Friday, August 14, 2009
我願意
God must've known that I haven't been seriously singing in too long so upon coming back He decides to thrust to me a lot of singing "projects" and opportunities that I had no idea would be coming. GM@Chicago and Charles' wedding I expected but worship leading THIS Sunday?
God, sometimes I think You overestimate my ability to multitask. but it's all for You and I count it my honour to be able to bring worship and praise to You in any way and wherever possible. Thank You for entrusting me with all You have given me.
Currently listening: 我願意-王菲
God, sometimes I think You overestimate my ability to multitask. but it's all for You and I count it my honour to be able to bring worship and praise to You in any way and wherever possible. Thank You for entrusting me with all You have given me.
Currently listening: 我願意-王菲
Monday, January 19, 2009
當"查查"遇上 GM 一起去 Dine Out
I always say that Sundays are totally my busiest days and today was no exception:
靠主的力量, 我順順利利地把我這幾個禮拜的心頭大石放下了: 領詩. 雖然不能說得上是十全十美 (我爸問我點解"無拉拉"唱唱下歌要祈禱) but i think 這份神給我的差事總算有一個神應該滿意的交代. 雖然早堂崇拜的時候,看到台下的會衆好像不太投入,令到我有點 disappointed, but at that moment I know that what other people choose to do with the chance to worship is their business. As long as I am worshiping God, I've done my part. 起碼到午堂的時候,看到大部分的會衆也蠻投入, 跟我和 band 一起敬拜的時候, 都覺得花過的心機, 應該是沒有白費的.
今次的領詩,有三大感恩的地方:
1. 查查 - i think it enhanced the worship quite well. And according to Brian, "tambourines are quite Biblical"
2. 今次其實都是 Joanna 第一次做我的和音. 雖然我看不到她的面部表情,但是眼角看到她都是在敬拜的時候,我就覺得很被鼓勵. (why is 鼓勵 and 孤立 the same pinyin anyways...it's like opposite meaning words sounding EXACTLY the same!)
3. 唱奉獻詩的時候看到坐在大堂後排的 Joanne 好開心,笑眯眯...雖然不知道她在笑什麽,但是看到她笑,令到我都忍不住笑...haha
下午跑了去幫 Grace Melodia 搬家. 雖然幫不上什麽的忙 (我又沒有車,而且他們昨天已經搬了七七八八), 我都有紀念品...就是.....GM 新出的 CD 兩張! ! 第一時間回到家就是聼那 EsC 的 CD (I guess I'm kinda her mini fan 哈哈 LOVE her music. its so straightforward in an artistic but non pretentious fashion) 覺得好好聽. 最大的驚喜就是聽到第八首的時候，聽到一把很熟識的聲音．taking a look at the book that comes with the CD...原來那和音就是自己!! wow so shocked hhahaha...有點覺得自豪．．．so i called my mom and Karen in to listen. They had to strain SO hard to hear me.
me: HEAR IT? the AHHHs!! that's ME! and the OOOHs?!?! thats me too!!
Karen: ...
At night went to my 1st dine out of 2009 (don't worry, there's only 2). Fish House at Stanley Park. Don't go. It's crappy. Thank God I had considerably entertaining company...haha. The funny (somewhat dumb) jokes and Edward's english totally made the dinner worth 34$ =)
明天的挑戰： 公司三文治 ！
Now listening: 福杯滿溢 - Grace Melodia
靠主的力量, 我順順利利地把我這幾個禮拜的心頭大石放下了: 領詩. 雖然不能說得上是十全十美 (我爸問我點解"無拉拉"唱唱下歌要祈禱) but i think 這份神給我的差事總算有一個神應該滿意的交代. 雖然早堂崇拜的時候,看到台下的會衆好像不太投入,令到我有點 disappointed, but at that moment I know that what other people choose to do with the chance to worship is their business. As long as I am worshiping God, I've done my part. 起碼到午堂的時候,看到大部分的會衆也蠻投入, 跟我和 band 一起敬拜的時候, 都覺得花過的心機, 應該是沒有白費的.
今次的領詩,有三大感恩的地方:
1. 查查 - i think it enhanced the worship quite well. And according to Brian, "tambourines are quite Biblical"
2. 今次其實都是 Joanna 第一次做我的和音. 雖然我看不到她的面部表情,但是眼角看到她都是在敬拜的時候,我就覺得很被鼓勵. (why is 鼓勵 and 孤立 the same pinyin anyways...it's like opposite meaning words sounding EXACTLY the same!)
3. 唱奉獻詩的時候看到坐在大堂後排的 Joanne 好開心,笑眯眯...雖然不知道她在笑什麽,但是看到她笑,令到我都忍不住笑...haha
下午跑了去幫 Grace Melodia 搬家. 雖然幫不上什麽的忙 (我又沒有車,而且他們昨天已經搬了七七八八), 我都有紀念品...就是.....GM 新出的 CD 兩張! ! 第一時間回到家就是聼那 EsC 的 CD (I guess I'm kinda her mini fan 哈哈 LOVE her music. its so straightforward in an artistic but non pretentious fashion) 覺得好好聽. 最大的驚喜就是聽到第八首的時候，聽到一把很熟識的聲音．taking a look at the book that comes with the CD...原來那和音就是自己!! wow so shocked hhahaha...有點覺得自豪．．．so i called my mom and Karen in to listen. They had to strain SO hard to hear me.
me: HEAR IT? the AHHHs!! that's ME! and the OOOHs?!?! thats me too!!
Karen: ...
At night went to my 1st dine out of 2009 (don't worry, there's only 2). Fish House at Stanley Park. Don't go. It's crappy. Thank God I had considerably entertaining company...haha. The funny (somewhat dumb) jokes and Edward's english totally made the dinner worth 34$ =)
明天的挑戰： 公司三文治 ！
Now listening: 福杯滿溢 - Grace Melodia
Saturday, January 17, 2009
領詩：一點都不簡單！
無錯。 領詩其實是一大難事。 又要挑選一些大家都比較認識的詩歌，但又不可以太死板，太無新意。
Even though, everyone knows that God is the centre of our worship, the ultimate Leader and Inspire-er of all our praise that goes on during the service, if I (in my role as the earthly inexperienced worship leader who doesn't know any better) don't think of ways to further enhance the pieces, or various possibilities to interpret difference pieces better, or to use the full potential of the band to encourage the congregation to worship with us, I feel as if I'm not doing my job and not fullfilling the awesome responsibility that the church and (more importantly) God Himself has given me. 每一次大家能夠一起敬拜其實都是一份十分之難得的機會.....and as a worship leader, i should never take it for granted and waste everyone's time.
一件事我覺得十分困難的就是picking songs. Having a very limited knowledge of Chinese hymns (traditional or contemporary; Mandarin or Cantonese) I'm already feeling like I've exhausted my knowledge of hymns only after leading worship twice (strictly speaking, once, because my 2nd time is this Sunday). 其實我認識的中文詩歌來來去去就是Jodie唱過的那些. This is really sad. For someone like me who's been to church all my life. And a choir member. And a worship leader now. I bet 80% of the congregation knows more hymns than I do. It just so happens that to me, all the hymns in the Hymns of Life sound the same (except for a select few like Amazing Grace). It seems that Chinese lyrics don't really talk to me. I can easily sing a hymn in Chinese on Sunday and then totally don't know what I just sang about.
Another thing is...領詩的時候，因該祈什麽的禱，讀什麽的經文？！ Like how do people know what to say and read without sounding extremely cheesy and rehearsed?! obviously they look and prepare before hand, but how can you actually do it without people going "omgdness this is SOOO canned!" I just try to avoid talking, but Jodie is right. Sometimes talking is important because it prepares the people for the next song and allows them to fully realize what the song is talking about. It just that everytime I feel like i have to switch back to English before I can say what I truly want to say. Especially when it's spiritual stuff.
Worship practices are also the ultimate test to one's ability to work as a team and to lead a group of extremely talented people. And I kid you not. The worship band is seriously a "crouching tiger hidden dragon" kinda place. You have people who have NEVER taken lessons before but can play like ARCT (i.e. Samuel and Si Mo). And then you have those who can play without looking at music (Leyond) and others who can make perfect transitions from the most bizarre key to the next most bizarre key. And then theres me. 學了差不多十年鋼琴還是對音樂不太認識. Can't improv. Can't change keys. Can't make up bridges or introductions. 有時候,真是要問神一句: WHAT AM I DOING HERE?! Who am I to lead this bunch of geniuses??!?!?!? I should be in my own little corner doing my own random harmonies, NOT standing up and telling them what they should play and how they should play it. 其實應該是他們告訴我每一段應該要怎麽唱, not the other way around. But I think this is God's way of making me 醒定 D: to never fluke a practice or to think that I can wing it. To never lead a practice unprepared. To never assume that I can just bs my way through a worship practice because I'm working with knowledgable people. People who know what music is about. People who are experienced. People who know better than me. 神要告訴我，因爲我對音樂還是不認識，我就要給別人付出多一點的時間，努力，去了解每一首歌. I must go to practice prepared, having an approximate idea of what I think is good. Even though in the end, my ideas may prove to be faulty and not good enough, at least I did not go into practice relying on others, all the while claiming to be the leader.
In terms of leadership, worship practices make me realize just how inadequate I am. Yes, an extremely inadequate leader that needs all the help she can get. During practices, I notice that I keep begging for input and ideas from the musicians because I know that mine are never the best. Knowing my own limited ability and creativity in music made me realize that the amount of resources that are available in the band for consultation. Knowing my own inexperience made me realize how important the team is as a whole to the whole worship experience. And being painfully aware of the incompleteness of my musical ideas, my insensitivity to sound, and my ignorance of spiritual experiences, made me realize that God placed me in this role not so that I can lead, but so that I can learn.
Currently listening: 神，你伴我行
(haha maybe God will one day let me write something as beautiful as this for Him)
Even though, everyone knows that God is the centre of our worship, the ultimate Leader and Inspire-er of all our praise that goes on during the service, if I (in my role as the earthly inexperienced worship leader who doesn't know any better) don't think of ways to further enhance the pieces, or various possibilities to interpret difference pieces better, or to use the full potential of the band to encourage the congregation to worship with us, I feel as if I'm not doing my job and not fullfilling the awesome responsibility that the church and (more importantly) God Himself has given me. 每一次大家能夠一起敬拜其實都是一份十分之難得的機會.....and as a worship leader, i should never take it for granted and waste everyone's time.
一件事我覺得十分困難的就是picking songs. Having a very limited knowledge of Chinese hymns (traditional or contemporary; Mandarin or Cantonese) I'm already feeling like I've exhausted my knowledge of hymns only after leading worship twice (strictly speaking, once, because my 2nd time is this Sunday). 其實我認識的中文詩歌來來去去就是Jodie唱過的那些. This is really sad. For someone like me who's been to church all my life. And a choir member. And a worship leader now. I bet 80% of the congregation knows more hymns than I do. It just so happens that to me, all the hymns in the Hymns of Life sound the same (except for a select few like Amazing Grace). It seems that Chinese lyrics don't really talk to me. I can easily sing a hymn in Chinese on Sunday and then totally don't know what I just sang about.
Another thing is...領詩的時候，因該祈什麽的禱，讀什麽的經文？！ Like how do people know what to say and read without sounding extremely cheesy and rehearsed?! obviously they look and prepare before hand, but how can you actually do it without people going "omgdness this is SOOO canned!" I just try to avoid talking, but Jodie is right. Sometimes talking is important because it prepares the people for the next song and allows them to fully realize what the song is talking about. It just that everytime I feel like i have to switch back to English before I can say what I truly want to say. Especially when it's spiritual stuff.
Worship practices are also the ultimate test to one's ability to work as a team and to lead a group of extremely talented people. And I kid you not. The worship band is seriously a "crouching tiger hidden dragon" kinda place. You have people who have NEVER taken lessons before but can play like ARCT (i.e. Samuel and Si Mo). And then you have those who can play without looking at music (Leyond) and others who can make perfect transitions from the most bizarre key to the next most bizarre key. And then theres me. 學了差不多十年鋼琴還是對音樂不太認識. Can't improv. Can't change keys. Can't make up bridges or introductions. 有時候,真是要問神一句: WHAT AM I DOING HERE?! Who am I to lead this bunch of geniuses??!?!?!? I should be in my own little corner doing my own random harmonies, NOT standing up and telling them what they should play and how they should play it. 其實應該是他們告訴我每一段應該要怎麽唱, not the other way around. But I think this is God's way of making me 醒定 D: to never fluke a practice or to think that I can wing it. To never lead a practice unprepared. To never assume that I can just bs my way through a worship practice because I'm working with knowledgable people. People who know what music is about. People who are experienced. People who know better than me. 神要告訴我，因爲我對音樂還是不認識，我就要給別人付出多一點的時間，努力，去了解每一首歌. I must go to practice prepared, having an approximate idea of what I think is good. Even though in the end, my ideas may prove to be faulty and not good enough, at least I did not go into practice relying on others, all the while claiming to be the leader.
In terms of leadership, worship practices make me realize just how inadequate I am. Yes, an extremely inadequate leader that needs all the help she can get. During practices, I notice that I keep begging for input and ideas from the musicians because I know that mine are never the best. Knowing my own limited ability and creativity in music made me realize that the amount of resources that are available in the band for consultation. Knowing my own inexperience made me realize how important the team is as a whole to the whole worship experience. And being painfully aware of the incompleteness of my musical ideas, my insensitivity to sound, and my ignorance of spiritual experiences, made me realize that God placed me in this role not so that I can lead, but so that I can learn.
Currently listening: 神，你伴我行
(haha maybe God will one day let me write something as beautiful as this for Him)
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