The (nonexistent) Passion of the Kathy

If there is one thing that I really want right now, it would be passion. Not romantic passion, but a passion for something so that it becomes the goal, purpose, and/or definition of your life. For example, some (great) people have a passion for finding the cure to cancer and other (still great) people have a passion to be a wonderful wife/mother, so that day in day out they focus on this goal and everything they do is oriented to this goal. Their plans revolve around the goal, they know exactly what they need to achieve in order to reach their goal, and even though there might be set backs, the goal is still awfully clear and solid. And although at times there might be a need for detours, they will not be led astray by where their detours lead them, but will be able to firmly march towards their goal. Although at times there might be a need to reevaluate and re-plan the route to the goal. the goal itself never changes. From beginning till the end, the goal is precise, definite and never watered down to accommodate for weaknesses or failures.

But before this goal can materialize, passion is needed. Before you know what you want to achieve, you'll need to know what you want. The cancer-curer wants to cure cancer, hence he will be diligent in his study of biology (or whatever you need to know to cure cancer). The mother-to-be wants to be a good mother, hence she will practice her patience and learn to cook/wash (or whatever mothers need to learn before they can become mothers).

The equation seems fairly simple: having passion for something leads to that thing's importance in your life, which leads to a plan to achieve that thing, which leads to a higher rate of success. We all know that people tend to do better in things that they actually like/enjoy/love/are passionate about.

Come on God, give me passion for something so that I can figure out what I'm suppose to be doing here.

思韵私房菜 之 Apple Chunks in Sauce

Ingredients:
Apples － 幾個, peeled and chopped into chunks
Honey - 隨意
Water - 少許

Procedures:
1. Place apples and water in a pot.
2. Cook slowly until apples are tender (i.e. you can easily divide them using your chopstick/whatever you happen to be using).
3. If the pot seems low on water, add more water but not too much.
4. Add honey.
5. Cook until there's hardly any water left and everything looks edible.
7. Take a cooking utensil and furiously mash up everything.
6. Eat.

Hint: Better tasting when eaten warm. Excellent way to get rid of week-old apples lying around the dorm.

前車可鑑

I've always had a problem with people who keep making the same mistakes over and over again. I know that it is okay to make mistakes but when someone repeatedly makes the same mistakes, it seems to me that the person is not giving a sufficient amount of effort to truly rectify their wrongs. Or that they have not truly learned their lesson yet.

Today I was in the middle of my shower when the water turned completely cold. Immediately I knew what has happened: I did not pay my hot water bill. My mom actually reminded me yesterday on the phone to pay my bills and I told her not to worry because I've learned my lesson last time when my electricity got cut. To make it worse, it just so happens that today is a Saturday, meaning that the finance office is closed and I'll have to wait until Monday to pay the fees (i.e. no hot water until Monday). Funny how this post eerily resembles this post.

Currently listening: 抬起我的頭來 - 楊千嬅

Libraries

I remember, about half a century ago, when the biggest question of my life was where I should go after high school. I remember poring through viewbooks and trying to replace the beautiful sunshine and green grass that are commonplace in the photos with the pouring rain and grey that is probably more typical of the average university. One thing I really didn't get back then was why these viewbooks would most definitely include a grandios, full-spread photo and some sort of paragraph dedicated to their in-school libraries that, 9 out of 10 times, look like they were built to the description of the library in Hogswarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I didn't think anyone would really care about books enough to select an university based on the size of a library, or the amount of books a library has, or how the library looks like.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, half a century later, I do. If a student needs to take 10 minutes before she can find a decent studying spot in the library, deduct one point from that university. If she needs another 10 minutes to find a decent studying spot that is in close proximity to an electrical outlet, deduct five. If the library's book collection basically consists of around 15 slightly larger than classroom sized rooms with shelves half filled with books, deduct 10. If 90% of the results on the library's catalogue search are merely links to online "e-books" (which, mind you, are not truly flesh-and-blood books), you might as well only apply to online courses. If the library does not (or cannot) make you want to do your work (and instead, you start blogging), you might as well start listing other alternatives.

Currently listening: How High the Moon - Ella Fitzgerald

Help Wanted

Wanted: lesson(s) on friendship.

Female, 20 year old, Chinese, outed Type A-ist needing to relearn ABC's of friendship. Has no problem making acquaintances and talking to people but may possibly be friendship-challenged, clueless or just (God forbid) too selfish. History of receiving complaints from close ones. Please help before she starts considering herself doomed.

陳綺貞太陽演唱會

很快地在上海打了個轉．目的就真的只有一個： 期待已久的陳綺貞太陽演唱會.

陳綺貞演唱會只能用一個字形容: 正! 大家都超 high +　企足2.5小時 + encored 5 times. 陳綺貞 is really amazing. She has this way of totally engaging her audience. However, at times I felt that she was just singing by herself and to herself, as if the 20 000 of us sitting in the audience weren't really there. When she sings, her voice really interprets the lyrics and I felt as if she was singing her feelings of the moment (which couldn't be true because she sang all sorts of songs). The 演唱會 was very simple: no dancers, no special guests, no eye-catching costumes. Just 陳綺貞, her guitar and her 5-man band (and the occasional strings section). 她不但唱了很多她最新專輯的歌, 還唱了很多以前讓大家喜歡她的歌, like 還是會寂寞, 告訴我, 旅行的意義, 1234567, 妒嫉, etc. The entire night I was secretly praying that she would sing 會不會, a song of her's that has touched me very deeply. I didn't really think she would sing it because it isn't one of her more popular songs but FINALLY, at the 4th or 5th encore she sang it. 她演場唱比CD跟加有味道. The one thing I really didn't like was the sale of Cheer concert T-shirts/pencil bags/environmental bags at the gates. They were majorly overpriced and I really didn't identify Cheer with such consumerism. Anyways all in all it was great.


Currently listening: 會不會 - 陳綺貞

Type A Kathy rants

今天我差不多發脾氣.

差不多發脾氣事件#1: For one of my courses, we have to do a group literature review. That is, we have write a mass essay (2000 words/person) in groups of five. All the other girls in my group are local students and today we got together to discuss our strategy in tackling this mass project. The problem is, we all have so many different views of how this should be done that we spent a lot of time just arguing how the work should be divided. On top of that their language of preference is Mandarin and mine, obviously, is English. When we "debate" our methods, we have to switch between two languages which basically means that we don't get 100% of what the other person just said. As a result, they would discuss amongst themselves in Mandarin and find someone to translate to me in English and I really didn't like that because 1. I feel that I'm not participating fully, 2. they significantly condense the English translation in order to save time, 3. it's frustrating to be able to only comprehend a few phrases in a long sentence and 4. when I explain my ideas to them in English, I feel that they don't understand what I'm trying to say. 弄到我整個人都覺得很煩躁 and completely not in the mood to be a team player.

差不多發脾氣事件#2: I WANT TO GO TRAVELING. 很難得下禮拜不用上課, 本來打算去外走走. As mentioned previously, one of the key reasons for coming to China is to go traveling and see the places that I've always hear of or read about but never been to. I see next week as the PERFECT opportunity to go traveling because 1. no classes at all, 2. I still have money, 3. I have nothing to do, 4. I didn't come all the way to China to hang out in Ningbo and 5. the weather is gorgeous. I thought about staying in Shanghai for one more day after Cheer's concert on Saturday night but the friend that I'm going with has to come back to Ningbo on Sunday. I thought about going to somewhere a bit further away like Suzhou since I have 3 more days off after coming back for Shanghai (better yet, I can just leave from Shanghai). But my other friend who said she'd go vacationing with me says shes too busy to afford a 3-4 day vacation and wants to restrict the trip to a 1 day thing to Shaoxing. It took a lot of persuasion on my part before she even agreed to consider a 2-day-1-night thing to Shaoxing. But honestly, I think it's a waste of perfectly fine time to go traveling to some further places since Shaoxing can easily be done on a weekend. She keeps telling me that I will have plenty of opportunities in April/May to go to other places for weekends but I just feel that we'll keep getting more and more busy. Another thing that's bugging me is that I know she's super busy and probably doesn't really want to go to these places with me because she's probably been to all of them and honestly I don't want to force her to go anywhere if she doesn't want to go. But if she doesn't go, it means that I might have to consider going alone but I can't imagine how that will be like. Or if my mom would ever let me do that.

Argh. Why can't everything be simple, straightforward, bam-bam-bam, figure-it-out-now?
Relax Kathy, at least you have Cheer's concert to look forward to.

Currently listening: 靈感 - 陳綺貞